Exes are a tricky thing to navigate. The adult in you wants to be mature about it and see the good, but the child in you wants to post embarrassing Snapchat screenshots of them all over social media. There’s a very delicate balance that needs to be reached. But sometimes there’s a nagging little voice in your head that says “Well…maybe he just needs a second chance?” Ehhhh, probably not your best idea. But I can understand how confusing it all can be. So here’s a list of reasons why it’s probably a good reason to stay away.
You may be the one dating him, but your friends are the ones that have to accept him for who he is without the promise of cuddles at the end of the night. If your friends don’t like the guy you’re dating, there’s probably a great reason why. Sure, sometimes friends can be over-protective, but it doesn’t mean they’re wrong. You need to listen when they say, “Hey, listen. Jeremy tried to set the house on fire last night while you were in the bathroom.” You can’t just play that off as him trying to warm the place up because you said it was cold.
“He probably didn’t answer right away because he was saving the life of a drowning kitten and his phone fell into the river.” Honey, you and I both know that you live in the middle of the city with no close bodies of water. And I’m also pretty sure his phone is glued to his hands. The more you have to make up excuses for unanswered texts, blown off plans, or just a bad attitude in general, the higher the chance he’s just an idiot and you deserve better.
I get it. We all do. The older you get and the longer you’ve been single, the more you crave having someone to be with. And it’s not because you can’t live independently, but it would just be nice to have someone who wants you. But that is no excuse to get back into a bad relationship. Embrace the alone time. Sleep like a starfish, eat on the couch, wear sweatpants all the time. It’s better to be by yourself and happy, than be with someone else and miserable.
If you have actually come to terms with a breakup and then find yourself catching new and improved™ feelings for the guy, then okay maybe you can THINK about giving another chance. But if you never got over him to begin with, odds are you’re just running off feelings fumes. They can last a long time, trust me. Getting over someone is an important step in the healing process. You can’t try and restart a relationship using the feelings from a bad one.
Princess Diaries gave us a sure-fire way to know if a guy is “the one.” Does he make your foot pop? It’s when you have a perfect moment with a perfect man and your foot just…pops. Full-blown pop, too. Not a hover, or a twitch. A full fairy-tale pop. If your ex doesn’t do that for you, then it’s not meant to be. Your gut always knows what’s best for you, or in this case your reflexes. It may seem like a weird way to pick a romantic partner, Anne Hathaway ends up with Chris Pine in the Princess Diaries movies so it’s definitely worth taking a chance on.